Hidden Secrets of Her Life

Have you ever wanted to write something so bad but still couldn't make yourself to do it because you don't know how to? I have been feeling the same and it's been so long like it's been over two months. I did write something last month but that was just anger and sadness. How do I feel right now? I don't know. I want to run away from every person I've ever known or talked to and start over again. I feel so distant and cold. But I've also never been so close to the people around me.. specifically the people from my college and I had some good time with them. College has almost ended and now it's to find a job and it all seems so scary.

I finally have some time but I'm wasting it by watching "Supernatural" on Netflix everyday. I could use that time preparing for more interviews and exams and you know, just looking for more options? I watch movies and TV dramas till I get headaches and my eyes start to hurt. Sometimes I stop but sometimes I want to continue doing it because I cannot talk to the person I want to. It's the suckiest thing that could happen to you. Being invested on someone so much that they control your moods and actions? God, that is one of the worst things that could happen to you.

But here is the thing. I'm not sad. I'm not happy and I cannot bring myself to care much about anything. I don't feel like I'm in love, I think, I'm out of love. It's a good state to be in. But I need to let go of some bonds and ties and make some new ones. I need another story to live in.