Sunday, January 26, 2014


There's no point in stopping the moments;
Rewinding and replaying it,
inside your head 
over and over again.
At the end of the day, the only one, 
who gets affected is you.
 Everyone is alone, 
And no one is entirely happy. 
In a big ocean of people,
you are just a droplet.
You'll gain nothing but pain,
if you keep hating every moment.

Thursday, January 23, 2014

A piece of my heart

Let me tell you a story about a boy;
A boy who had beautiful eyes,
And a smile that made my heart ache.
I saw his pictures,
I saw him smiling.
I saw something more,
And it was the pain that he was hiding.
He seemed to be having bad days,
Because he loved someone who didn't love him back.
I wish I could do something to ease the pain.
I couldn't see him hurting,
So, I gave him a piece of my heart,
because he gave his to someone else.
I gave him a piece of my heart,
because he needed it more than I did.
I gave him a piece of my heart 
because he was out of love.
I gave him a piece of my heart
Because maybe I was falling for him.
I gave him a piece of my heart,
because it seemed like the best thing to do, 
I was in love with a boy who loved someone else.

Friday, January 17, 2014

You're the one who killed me.

Don’t you dare talk to me,
Don’t you dare shout at me,
Don’t you dare touch me again.
Once again, after all this time..
Don’t you dare make me feel worthless,
Don’t you dare act like you’re a superior being.
I wanna slit open my wrist,
And write on the walls of your room with my dripping blood
till I lose my consciousness.
Write about what a terrible person you are,
And how I've died a thousand before
Just because of the way you’ve treated me.
Mention all the names you've given me,
Mention how you undressed me with your obnoxious eyes,
Mention how you invaded and ruined my life 
with your vile intention when I was busy dreaming..
Just so the world can know,
I didn't kill myself,
You’re the one who killed me.

Wednesday, January 15, 2014

The problem with me

The problem with me is that
I keep asking too many questions,
And I keep looking for the reasons.
"Don't you know that I miss you?"
"Why did you leave me?"
"Why did you stop talking to me?"
"Why did you choose someone else over me?"
"What was it?"
"Was it something that I did?"

Or may be the problem with me is that
I blame it all on myself.
"I am too ugly."
"I am too clingy."
"I care too much."
"I am so annoying."

No wait,
May be the problem with me is that
I still think you care.
I still think you're a nice person
I still think you miss me.
I still think those words cannot be a lie.
And those actions cannot be just pretense.
You must have felt something inside your heart, at least once?

What am I saying?
It cannot be that.
No, not at all.
The only problem with me is that,
I just expect too much.

Monday, January 13, 2014

Mandatory New Year Post.

I realized that I haven't made any new year post yet.  I'm 13 days late but I hope it's okay. I wasn't excited about this new year crap because for me it was just a change of day. I didn't make resolutions. I didn't do the overrated "new year, new life, new me" thingy because everything was the same. 
I would write a lot about 2013 but I don't remember much of it right now. Probably because of the exams. I'm so glad that 5th semester has finally ended because I was so annoyed of studying every now and then for tests and exams. I don't want to study now and I wish semester break was longer but it isn't. I would have written this new year post on 1st January but I was busy with exams. Well anyways, I'm pretty sure that not a lot of people wanna about my exams.

2013 was pretty weird. I didn't get mad at people like I used to. I ruined a friendship then fixed it, then ruined it again and now trying to fix it again. I stood silently in a corner as I watched my self esteem going down and then with time I build it up again on my own. I started liking/respecting the people I disliked and started disliking the ones I liked.

When my world seemed to be going up side down, a stranger knocked on my door and helped me see a different prespective of life. He is not my friend. I don't talk to him all the time. I haven't told him "everything" about my life. I don't even tell him about my problems but he still manages to make me feel better and show me the right path. He is a dreamer. I'm a dreamer. And may be that's why he knows.

My best friend has done a lot for me as well. Despite the distance, he has pretty much tried his best to be there for me. I gave him a hard time. I promised that I'd try my best not to repeat the same mistakes again. I also realized that I'm pretty much lost without him. I have chosen him. I can't trust anyone else even if I try to.

I voted this year. I showed interest in politics. I stood up against bullies for others, I stood first in the I.T. branch of my college(although this was the first time I ever got the first position in anything). I saved a life. I stood up for the LGBTQ community. I met a heck lot of new great people on twitter too. I think I can officially use "I have a lot of online friends" meme. Hold on a sec..

There you go. :')

Oh and you know, after a long time, I developed a strong crush on a person and he liked me too but sadly he lives 7000 miles away. I wish I could talk more to him but it's okay. I also met an actual real person who liked me, who teased me, who seemed interested. And this person has actually seen me the way I was, he has heard my voice, he has heard my laugh, he has seen me trying hard not to smile or blush, he has seen me in my good moods and bad moods. He just liked me. I'm not saying that I liked him too but it makes me feel better about myself.. Like WOW THERE'S A PERSON WHO LIKED ME FOR ME!!

In other news, I got recognized by others for my work. My blog, my doodles, my photography(I'm not too good), my academic achievements and other stuffs. That makes me feel better. This blog is no more a secret because a lot of people from my college read it. So I cannot really mention names here! 

Bad stuffs happened too, like my friends ending up in jail(they got bail too), my family being broke, and my parents' constant fights, pressure to perform best etc. 2013 wasn't a great year but I still have no complaints because I have a bad memory and I don't remember a lot of stuffs and most importantly, thinking about hurtful past is only going to hurt you! :P
Anyways, I hope you all have a great 2014 :)